7 Things I Hate About My Dog

N°1
When I walk him he literally howls and barks at every animal, cyclist, or van (or anything that makes more noise than a normal car), therefore every time I see one of these coming, I run after him and draw him as close as possible so that I could hold him firmly. However, sometimes he decides to be friends with them and I go running like a crazy person, pouncing on him, holding him and he sits and does nothing. Just breaths with his tongue out, innocent as ...phit.

N°2
After he completes his 'smelly work' I go like every responsible dog-owner pick it up with a bag. There's nothing wrong about him doing it but he doesn't really have to start burrying it, throwing all the mud and grass in my face.

N°3
He wants something all the time but I never know what. He doesn't even give me a hint. Normal dogs, when they're hungry, howl next to their bowl but my dog just howls next to me. Other dogs, when they want to go outside, stand in front of the door and whine. My dog jumps into the bath and pees in it. When normal dogs are thirsty, they howl near to the bowl. My dog jumps into the bath, licks some remaining water and pushes his bowl in the middle of the kitchen so that everyone could trip over it.

N°4
He cannot be outside off his leash for a simple reason. He would freaking run away with the name of the owner on him and somebody would bring him back. We'd have to be worried about him causing a car accident meanwhile.

N°5
He barks at every dog in an intimidating, wild, and evil way. There are two huge dogs in our neighbourhood and he doesn't care about their size and the possible harm they could cause him. He relies on the fact that if he makes them angry and they run after him, he can always hide behind me. 

N°6
He cannot go upstairs by himself. It's an insurmountable obstacle for him. However, not that he would just stand in front of them, waiting for someone to help him. He goes, stops in the middle and starts whining, howling, committing suicide until somebody comes and takes him up the stairs.

N°7
Every normal dog takes a shower from time to time, or if they live in an apartment, every time they return from a walk. My dog, who is 8 years old by the way, just still hasn't got over it. He has his own bath which is 1,15 metres above the ground and tries to jump out every single time I wash him. And in the end, I'm always the one was washed. Then he shakes himself off like a pro. That's why his bathroom's walls look so horrendous.

love & peace
Ciray