I Think I Am Sick Again

Why not get ill when we have our midterm holiday.

This is pretty much how I spend every holiday– except for summer holidays when I don’t get sick… Usually.  Anyway, this doesn’t hurt my psyche so much as our midterm holiday is shorter than a weekend. Yes, it’s one day off school and it’s raining and snowing at the same time. Additionally, I can’t just stay in my bedroom without washing my hair and doing my makeup. No. My friends think that I have nothing to do so whenever they text me I’ll be ready to get to the bus station and go and meet them. Is it so obvious that my life is just a whirl of emptiness and oblivion?

I have things to do! I’m ill for Christ’s sake! Well that’s not a thing to do. Damn, I should do something about my life. At least, I’m glad I hadn’t set any New Year’s resolutions because I would be even more disappointed now.

Well I’ve been thinking about making a new lesson but somehow couldn’t figure out what it should be about. And, so that it’s not such a pointless post I’m adding a poem I wrote yesterday. This is what happens when you have fever and get creative:

No matter how much I strive for rest,

Rest in my head, an end to commotion;

This inner hurdle, unfinishable quest

Nobody sees in my face of no motion.

Calm on the outside, in me just panic,

Trying to sort out my thoughts,

Feeling like a schizophrenic;

Order is what I head towards.

love & peace
Ciray