Chapter 3– I Only Came To Help Her

           It was 6 o’clock or so when I reached Terka’s house. I stopped as if there was a concrete wall in front of me. I didn’t even notice that it wasn’t raining anymore and the city had been overwhelmed by darkness. Fear was sneaking into my mind, the fear of what I could see in the house. I felt anxious and confused. What if her Mom was at home? What should I tell her? My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by barking of Terka’s dog. I saw the door fling open and Mrs. Pilarová stretching her head forward to see who was coming.

        ‘Oh, Ase, come in, it’s raining out there,’ she shouted with her high-pitched voice. Before I managed to react their dog had run into their house. Mrs. Pilarová went after it and let the door open for me to come in. I slowly started moving towards the door, still thinking and trying to calm down. When I got in I heard Mrs. Pilarová fighting the muddy dog and slipping on the wet floor. 'I came to help her...,' I paused thinking, then finished: '...with her homework.' 'Oh, great, she's in her bedroom, make sure to come down here to get some snack later!'

I went upstairs and stopped in front of Terka’s bedroom. There were signs and notices on it. Some of them we made together. I reached the handle. It was cold. I opened the door and was illuminated by sunbeams of the sun peeking through the gray and black rainy clouds. ‘Mie scattering,’ I whispered to myself. Half-blinded by the sudden tide of sunshine I started looking for Terka. And there she was lying on the floor balancing a bottle of vodka in her left hand. Fortunately, she was moving. She lifted the bottle and gesticulated something which I didn’t understand. Then she finally spoke: ‘Get ouuuuttt! Get out from herrrre!’ ‘Good, you’re speaking,’ I said, ignoring her attempts to discourage me from helping her. But I realized she hadn’t opened her eyes yet. I opened a window to get some fresh air for her.

        ‘You girls up there?’ cried Terka’s Mom. ‘Shut up you-,’ I put my hand on Terka’s mouth: ‘Are you crazy?’ She started vomiting on it. ‘Oh no... That’s disgusting! Terka stop!’ I said with an absolutely serious voice. I guess that was what made her Mom go upstairs to see what was going on. ‘You girls okay?’ we heard her footsteps approaching to the bedroom. ‘What’s up?’ she asked as she was almost at the door. I would never forget the expression in her face when she saw us. I immensely got up to wipe my hand but forgot that I had opened the window and bumped my head so bad that I immediately fell unconcious.

        From what they told me I know that Mrs. Pilarová called an ambulance and before it had arrived she found a package of sleeping pills. And cleaning up the mess took her hours. And who told me this? The police.

Kapitola 1– Tichá Nenávist

Kolik jehliček se nachází v brachyblastu Pinus nigra (borovice černá)? Em… tři, mám pocit… nebo dvě? Mnoho stromů má jen dvě. Neptal by se na toto, kdyby odpověď byla tři. Ale… “Sakra, jsem v háji,” řekla jsem tiše, nicméně mě jedna z mých spolužaček slyšela. “Měla ses na to naučit líp,” byla její odpověď na mé prohlášení– ne otázka, byla to zjevná oznamovací věta. I když ona byla známá pro své odpovídání na řečnické otázky a ptaní se na informace, které už byly řečeny. Ona byla tak nějak z jiného světa. Byla moc hodná, tedy aspoň se tak chovala, ale neskutečně povrchní a namyšlená. To je ale jen můj názor. A také všech ostatních.

Zpět k testu z biologie. Mohlo by se zdát, že se jedná o písemku z latiny– hlavně tedy ta druhá část, nicméně taková už byla má studia na střední škole. Po tom, co jsme test dokončili, já a zbytek mé třídy jsme se přesunuli do třídy na matematiku. Procházení chodbami naší školy bylo jako hraní rugby. Nikdo nedodržoval nařízení chůze po pravé straně. Všichni do sebe vráželi a očividně jim to nevadilo. Mně ano.

Tento den byl jako jakýkoli jiný pracovní. Má nálada byla vysloveně na hovno a nic se mi nechtělo. Naštěstí jsem v matematice sedávala v zadní části třídy, kam pan profesor zavítal jen výjimečně. Neuvědomoval si to, ale měl štěstí, že mezi námi byla relativně velká distance. Pro mě byla matematika muka. Dokud to byla jen aritmetika, bylo vše v pořádku. Výsledek jsem mohla říct z hlavy. Ale když se začala objevovat písmenka, zpanikařila jsem. A můj vztah k geometrii, planimetrii a podobným věcem, ke kterým jsem byla příliš zapomnětlivá si přinést pomůcky, abych je vůbec mohla provozovat? Jedno slovo– asociace. Pokud zkonstruujete čtverec, co můžete, udělat pro to, aby nevypadal tak nudně? Je to dobrý způsob, jak rozvíjet svou kreativitu.

Tahle hodina byla jiná. Pan Křížek nebyl v dobré náladě. Byl cynický a neustále nám říkal, abychom drželi huby. Abych řekla pravdu, morálka ve všech hodinách byla otřesná, ale profesoři si na to prostě zvykli. Přece jenom vyrostli ve stejné zemi (jen pojmenované jinak). Bylo to tu normální. Někteří čeští profesoři chtěli, aby školy v České republice byly jako ty ve filmech, ty, o nichž snili– stádo zmanipulovaných, uniformovaných studentů téměř bez práv. Pan Křížek byl zvláštní. Byl jedním z těch profesorů, které jsem jednoduše nenáviděla. Ne proto, že učil věci, kterým jsem nikdy neporozuměla, ale v jeho lidské podstatě bylo něco, co se mi nelíbilo. Cítila jsem to pokaždé, když jsem jej potkala. Samozřejmě, že jsem byla proti chování některých studentů, ale říkat jim, promiňte, říkat NÁM, že jsme horda nezkušených idiotů byla drzá přehnaná reakce. A to jsem nemohla vystát. Slíbila jsem si, že budu na všechny hodná. Vlastně to bylo mé novoroční předsevzetí. Ale on byl výjimkou, kterou jsem musela konfrontovat.

Chapter 2– What have you done?

When I got home late in the afternoon, my friend Tereza, whom I call Terka, texted me: You free tonight? Can we meet at my place at six? Urgent! Thnx. I couldn’t say no to her, I needed to cheer up and she was always talking about herself and her problems so her interlocutors never had time to think of theirs. I loved her anyway. She was always smiling and was so funny. Nobody would ever guessed that she had come through so many bad situations and had schisms in her own family. Terka attended a medical high school, had great grades in the elementary school, which we attended together, but got worse when she got into this high. Anyway, I texted her back: Yes, what’s going on? Shall I bring something? It took her a while to answer. I started preparing a quick snack– two toasts with butter and blueberry jam and a glass grog tea. Yummy! Then checked the bus schedule and sorted out I didn’t have enough time to eat it all and get ready to go.

I was flitting around the house and preparing for leaving the house, when my Mom came home from work.

 ‘What’s going on?’ she said, watching me desperately looking for my keys. ‘I’m ‘bout to visit Terka. Do you know where my keys are?’ I asked her without even glancing at her. ‘No,’ she rejoined. ‘You should stay at home studying and revising for school,’ she cried after me but I was already gone running down the stairs.

 As soon as I ran out from our house, I found out it was raining. ‘Damn it!’ I mumbled. Looking at my telephone watches I was deciding whether to go back and get an umbrella or not. Eventually, I didn’t carry one. I also noticed another message from Terka however didn’t read it till I got on the bus.

It’s alright, I’ve solved it, you better stay at home, it’s fucking raining out there. You don’t say?! The wrinkled expression in my face was supposed to look surprised however it made some guys sitting against me laugh. I immediately transformed it into you-better-stop-staring expression and got off the bus in the centre.

I had no idea what to do. I felt down, jaded, my hair was getting wet. Usually when I had nothing to do, I used to light up a cigarette. But being alone, I was scared of that somebody could see me and tell my parents and the rain prevented me from going somewhere else.

Suddenly, I heard my phone ringing. It was Terka. ‘Hey, Ase, I need to talk to you. Sorry for alarming you without a reason,’ she said with a dubiously calm voice. ‘You know, you attend a prestigious school and...’ I stopped her: ‘What? The school is so lame, it’s just that...’ ‘Listen!’ she shouted and went on: ‘You are so beautiful, I cannot look at you without thinking that I’m way too ugly to be a friend of yours,’ she started sobbing. I immensely reacted, stepping away from an eld man trying to catch something from our dialogue: ‘No, stop saying this! I’m not pretty and you know th…,’ she went on like I didn’t say anything: ‘You are thin and I’m fat and stupid. I wanted you to come here I needed to talk to somebody but didn’t want to see you! I’m done! I don’t want to live anymore,’ she hung up.

I tried calling her back but she didn’t pick up the phone… 

Conjugation– MÍT (to have)

PRESENT TENSE 

Já mám                                   My máme

Ty máš                                     Vy máte

On/a/o má                              Oni/y/a mají

FUTURE TENSE

Já budu mít                           My budeme mít

Ty budeš mít                         Vy budete mít

On/a/o bude mít                   Oni/y/a budou mít

PAST TENSE

Já jsem  měl/a/o                    My jsme měli/y/a

Ty jsi měl/a/o                          Vy jste měl/i/y/a

On/a/o měl/a/o                       Oni/y/a měli/y/a

IMPERATIVE

Já ------                                    My mějme    

Ty měj                                     Vy mějte

On/a/o ať má                         Oni/y/a ať mají

Example sentences:
Měj se hezky. (Have a nice day. [Informal.])
Na oběd jsem měla salát z okurků a rajčat. (I had some salad consisted of cucumbers and tomatoes for lunch. [The subject is feminine.])
Když jsem byl malý, měl jsem psa. (When I was little, I had a dog. [Masculine subject.])

Lesson 6– Verb conjugations (basics, division)

 There are four verb groups in Czech (and some +/- million exceptions). It might be less difficult for those who speak French because both Czech and French have very similar systems.

    As I mentioned before, every single Czech verb infinitive ends in -t. But to recognize what group it belongs in you need to learn which suffixes indicate what group. Each group has its vary conjugation suffixes for each pronoun/person.

GROUP I

Suffixes -at and -át. For example "hádat" (to guess), "dát" (to give).

Já          hádám/ dávám        My          hádáme/ dáváme

Ty         hádáš/ dáváš            Vy           hádáte/ dáváte

On/a/o  hádá/ dává                Oni/y/a    hádají/ dávají

GROUP II

Suffixes -ovat, -ít and -ýt. Verbs like "darovat" (to give, to dedicate), "šít" (to sew), "mýt" (to wash).

Já          daruji/ šiji/ myji*               My         darujeme/ šijeme/ myjeme

Ty          daruješ/ šiješ/ myješ     Vy          darujete/ šijete/ myjete

On/a/o   daruje/ šije/ myje            Oni/y/a    darují/ šijí/ myjí

*Czechs often use ending -ju instead of -ji when speaking but it's incorrect, nevertheless tolerated. We never use the suffix -ju in written form.

GROUP III

Suffixes -it, -et and -ět. Verbs such as "platit" (to pay, to be accurate/in effect), "válet" '(to roll, to rock [slang]), "rozumět" (to understatnd).

Já            platím/ válím/ rozumím          My          platíme/ válíme/ rozumíme

Ty           platíš/ válíš/ rozumíš               Vy           platíte/ válíte/ rozumíte

On/a/o    platí/ válí/ rozumí                      Oni/y/a    platí/ válí/ rozumí

GROUP IV

Suffixes -ést and -ci. For instance "nést" (to carry), "moci" (can, to be able to, to be allowed to).

Já             nesu/ můžu (mohu*)       My         neseme/ můžeme

Ty            neseš/ můžeš                    Vy          nesete/ můžete

On/a/o     nese/ může                          Oni/y/a    nesou/ můžou (mohou*)

* these forms are archaic but still you can hear them from elders or when somebody wants to be deemed an educated man.

      As regards the exceptions, most of them can be classified in these groups, the only problem is that they don't end in those suffixes listed above.

Conjugation– BÝT (to be)

PRESENT TENSE

Já jsem                                     My jsme

Ty jsi                                        Vy jste

On/a/o je                                  Oni/y/a jsou

FUTURE TENSE

Já budu                                    My budeme

Ty budeš                                  Vy budete

On/a/o bude                             Oni/y/a budou

PAST TENSE

Já jsem byl/a                            My jsme byli/y/a

Ty jsi byl/a/o                            Vy jste byl/i/y/a

On/a/o byl/a/o                          Oni/y/a byli/y/a

IMPERATIVE

Já ----                                         My buďme

Ty buď                                      Vy buďte

On/a/o ať je                              Oni/y/a ať jsou


Example sentences:
Jsem naštvaná. (I'm angry. [Feminine subject.])
Rána jsou v zimě chladná. (The mornings are cold in winter.)
Buď tady v šest hodin. (Be here at six o'clock.)
Včera jsme byli ve škole. (We were at school yesterday.)
Byl jsem rozrušený. když mi volala. (I was distraught when she called me. [The first subject is masculine.])

Lesson 5– Assimilation

 This is a topic I forgot to mention in the Lesson 1. Native speakers do it automatically, we don't even realise it.
     What is assimilation? It is a phonological process by which one sound becomes more similar to the previous one or the following one. It is usually done to facilitate pronunciation. When voiced and voiceless sounds meet, one of them turns into a voicless sound.
      First, you need to find out the difference between voiced and voiceless consonants:

D x T  (dry x try)
G x K (gone x calm)
Z x S (zygote x sleep)
H x Ch (hold x loch ness)
B x P (burst x plant)
V x F (via x fake)
Ď x Ť (dy x ty)
Ž x Š (pleasure x mushroom)
N x N (note x fang)
Ř x Ř (tři x dři) => you don't have to pay attention to this one, because it is impossible to pronounce voiced "ř" after any voiceless consonant and vice versa.
(Other consonants don't assimilate.)

Assimilation in the middle/ at the end of words

V x F

borůvka, f. ['boa-roof-kah] (blueberry) – "k" is a voiceless sound, therefore you have to read "v" as "f"

plav ['pluf] (swim!) – it sounds weird when pronouncing each sound voiced, especially those at the end of words, therefore "f" instead of "v"

BUT!

zavolat ['zah-voa-lut] (call) – "o" is a vocal, it doesn't change anything about the pronunciation of the word

B x P

trubka, f. ['troup-kah] (tube) – "k" is a voiceless consonant, "b" is read as "p"

zob, m ['zoap] (seed for poultry) – "b" at the end of a word is pronounced as "p"

BUT!

obvaz, m. ['oab-vus] (bandage) – "v" is a voiced sound, so you must read "b" as "b"

zip, m. ['zip] (zip)

D x T

vodka, f. ['voat-kuh] (vodka) – "d" => "t"

med, m. ['met] (honey) – "d" => "t"

BUT!

medvěd, m. ['med-vyeht] (bear) – "v" is a voiced consonant, therefore the preceding "d" is really read as "d" 

kat, m. ['cut] (executioner)

Ď x Ť

choďte ['choaty-teh] (walk!) – "t" is a voiceless consonant, so "ď" is read as "ť"

káď, f. ['ca:ty] (tub) – "ď" at the end of a word is read as "ť"

BUT!

nať, f. ['nutye] (leaves)

Z x S 

kaz, m. ['cus] (flaw) – "z" => "s"

oblázky, pl., m. ['oab-lu:s-kih] (pebbles) – "k" is a voiceless sound, "z" => "s"

BUT!

jízda, f. ['yie:z-duh] (ride) – "d" is a voiced sound, so "z" must be read as "z"

les, m ['les] (forrest)

Ž x Š

muž, f. ['moush] (man)– "ž" is at the end of the word, so it must be read as "š"

pokožka, f. ['poa-kosh-kuh] (epidermis)  – "ž" => "š"

BUT!

kůže, f. ['coo-sue] (skin) – "e" is a vocal, it doesn't change anything about word's pronunciation

veš, f. ['vesh] (louse)

H x Ch

výtah, m. ['vee-tuch] (lift/ elevator) – "h" => "ch"

nehty, pl. m. ['nech-tih] (nails) – "h" => "ch"
BUT!
nehoda, f. ['neh-hoa-duh] (accident) – "o" is a vocal, it doesn't change anything about the pronunciation
hoch, m. arch. ['hoach] (boy)

You don't have to memorize all of these; as you listen to the words, you'll start doing it subconsciously.

love & peace
Ciray

Lesson 4– Grammar (pronouns, conjugation of verbs)

  Hello, I'm here again. You don't have to pretend to be happy, but if you want to learn Czech, you should. Muhehe.

Verb conjugation

       Here comes the difficult part of the Czech language. Not unmanageable but still pretty hard to learn. You don't have to memorize all of the verb conjugations now. Your brain will learn them when reading.        Unfortunately, you'll have to learn lots of words to be capable of reading a Czech text. So, now what you must do is to memorize these... and some more. ^_^
         I don't want to bother you with all of them now, so I'll be putting them here on this website one by one.

       So, let's start. Here are three simple rules for you to take into your account:
1) Verb infinitives always end with -t.
2) Some of the verbs have reflexive pronouns "se" or "si" (meaning "myself, yourself, ...") but can be used without them gaining a different meaning.
3) Verbs can be used without an object (noun, pronoun, ...). (Like in Spanish.)

Verb BÝT ['beet] (=to be)
Já               jsem     My           jsme
Ty              jsi         Vy            jste
On/a/o        je         Oni/y/a      jsou
(present tense forms)

Note: The Czech language has three tenses only, to your relief. :)

         Verbs with reflexive pronouns can change their position in a sentence depending on whether there is a subject or not. As usual, the best way to explain is to show you: Ona si hraje s panenkou. The reflexive pronoun is prior to the verb. Another example: Hraje si. The subject is not present, therefore the pronoun and verb have switched. (Conjugation of the verb "hrát si" is here.)

         All (read: those I managed to make so far) verb conjugations are listed in a separate section.

Pronouns

        As you (probably) have deduced, the basic pronouns are: já, ty, on, ona, ono, my, vy, oni, ony, ona. Seems like a lot of pronouns, right? I'll explain here:

Já ['ya:h] I                   My ['mih] we

Ty ['tih] you                 Vy ['vih] you

On ['oan] he                 Oni ['oa-nyi] they (for masculine gender & for masculine gender and feminine gender)

Ona ['oa-nah] she        Ony ['oa-nih] they (for feminine gender)

Ono ['oa-noh] it           Ona ['oa-nah] they (for neuter gender)

Note: The pronouns can be inflected (the Czech language has seven cases). I'll teach you the declension later.

        There are also demonstrative pronouns which you can use while learning new Czech words. These are ten (masculine sing.) , ta (feminine sing.), to (neuter sing.), ti (masculine plural and masculine + feminine plural), ty (feminine plural), ta (neuter plural). I'll list them again and you try to say the genders and numbers aloud while reading them.

ten           ti

ta             ty

to             ta

love & peace
Ciray

Lesson 3– Short conversations

 In this lesson, we'll learn how to converse.
      First of all, check the Lesson 2 (http://ciray.blogspot.cz/2013/10/lesson-2-greetings.html) to read the greetings once again. It's for your own good, believe me.
Now, let's find out some information about Czech grammar. The most important (and most difficult) are declension and conjugation. I won't bother you with these in this lesson, you'd go mad. I just want you to take it into account when learning to converse, because the verbs may sound similar but they don't necessarily have the same meaning.

      Let's start with formal conversations. Now that you know, when to use the formal language (if you don't, check the Lesson 2– Greetings) and you also know how to start a conversation, all you need to learn is to continue it. Read these dialogues aloud:

Slečna Nováková: Dobré odpoledne, pane Vyskočile, jak se dnes máte?
Pan Vyskočil: Výborně. A vy?
Slečna Nováková: Dobře. Na shledanou.
Pan Vyskočil: Přeji vám hezký den. Na shledanou.

Paní Veselá: Dobrý den. Jmenuji se Silvie Veselá a jsem vaše průvodkyně. Měla jste dobrou cestu?
Paní Skřivánková:  Ano, děkuji za optání. Jak se vám daří?
Paní Veselá: Nemohu si stěžovat. Tak, půjdeme?
Paní Skřivánková: Jistě.

Vocabulary

slečna f. ['sleh-chnah] Miss, n.
Nováková ['noh-vah:-coh-vah:] girls' Czech surname
pan (/pane) m. ['pun] Mister, n. (pane is an inflected form of pan)
Jak se (dnes) máte? ['yuck 'seh ('dnes) 'mah:-teh] How are you (today)?
Vyskočil ['vis-kohch-chil] men's Czech surname
výborně ['vih:-bor-nye] great, adv.
a ['ah] and, conj.
vy ['vih] you, pronoun, formal
dobře ['doh-břeh] well, adv.
Přeji (vám) hezký den. ['přeh-yih ('vu:m) 'hez-kih: 'dehn] I wish a nice day (to you [formal]).
paní f. ['pah-nyi:] Misuse, n
Veselá ['veh-seh-lah:] girls' Czech surname (literally translated: happy :)
Jmenuji se... ['ymeh-nooh-yi 'seh] My name is...
jsem... ['ysehm] I am...
vaše ['vah-sheh] your/s, pronoun, formal
průvodkyně f. ['prooh-vod-kih-nye] female guide
Měla jste dobrou cestu? ['mnye-lah 'ysteh 'doh-brow 'tses-to] Did you have a pleasant journey? (when asking a female, formal)
ano ['ah-noh] yes
děkuji za optání ['dyeh-kooh-yi 'zah 'op-tah:-nyi:] thank you for asking
Jak se vám daří? ['yuck 'seh 'vu:m 'dah-řih:] How are you doing?
Nemohu si stěžovat. ['neh-moh-ho 'sih 'stye-suo-vut] I can't complain.
tak ['tuck] so
Půjdeme? ['poo:-ydeh-meh] Shall we go?
jistě ['yis-tye] sure

       Informal conversations are more complicated especially among children. I'll give you some examples of dialogues but, as you know, children have their own language.

Lucie: Čau, jak to jde?
Martin: Ujde to. Co ty?
Lucie: Dobré. Měj se.
Martin: Ty taky.

Vocabulary

Jak to jde? ['yuck 'toh 'ydeh] How's it going? (the same as German "Wie geht's?")

Ujde to. ['ooy-deh 'toh] Not bad.

dobré ['doh-bre:h] good, adj.

Ty taky. ['tih 'tah-kih] You too. (It's because "Měj se" is an equivalent of "Stay cool", which you can answer "you too" ("ty taky") or "stay cool" ("měj se".)

       I know that nobody likes to learn words and phrases, but remember that they're the basis of any language. 

P. S.: Sorry for being late with this lesson. I had to do the stuff for school and visit a doctor. I cannot believe it. Another package of antibiotics, spray and some pills. xP 

Lesson 2– Exercises

   Hello, now we'll do some exercises. Practise makes perfection!
        If you've missed the Lesson 2, click here: http://ciray.blogspot.cz/2013/10/lesson-2-greetings.html

        So, read the descriptions of situations and choose the appropriate greeting. Good luck to you!

1) You've moved in to a new house in the Czech republic. One day in the morning, you get up and go out to check your mailbox. While you're checking it, you note that a curious neighbour is staring at you. What do you say? (Don't be rude, hehe.)

2) It's your first day at school. You're sitting at your desk, when a classmate sits next to you and says hello. What do you say?

3) Your husband/ wife has invited you to their house. She/ he wants you to meet her/ his parents. How do you greet them?

4) You're with your friend, but, unfortunately, you have to leave. What do you tell them?

Post your answers below, I'll check them. ;)

Lesson 1– Exercises

Hello, it's time to revise. Here are two videos with Czech subtitles. Listen and read the subtitles to improve your writing, listening and reading skills. The subtitles contain exactly what is said, so all you have to do is to read them. I should mention that Richard Nedvěd (the comedian/magician in the video) is from Prague (the capital of the Czech Republic), so he speaks colloquial Czech, not the proper language. :)

 (Prohlašuji, že nevlastním žádná práva na tato videa a nebyla uveřejněna za účelem zisku. Volně stažitelná.)

Another Video With Richard Nedvěd

      I heard that you liked the first one, so I made another video – the one I didn't entirely manage to save yesterday. ^_^
Here it is:

 (Prohlašuji, že nevlastním žádná práva na toto video a nebylo uveřejněno za účelem zisku. Volně stažitelné.)

      Sorry for the quality, I couldn't find any of better. I'll add the Czech subs later. :)
BAVTE SE! :)

Lesson 2– Greetings

  Hi, welcome to the second lesson, if you missed the first one, look for it on my blog. (Sorry, I still have no idea how to create a menu. :)
         Now we'll learn how to greet someone. It's very important, because you start communication with a greeting. So, first, I need to tell you that Czech language has two forms: formal and informal. You should use the formal language when talking to: someone you don't know, your boss, an elder person, your colleagues (if you haven't agreed on an informal form), teachers, etc. Yes, and your mother-in-law and father-in-law, even if you've known for a while, don't use the informal talk until they ask you to. :)

Formal greetings                  

Dobrý den –"good day"                    
used during whole daytime                
                                                          
Dobré ráno – "good morning"                                                                        
used in the morning                                  
                                                                               
Dobré poledne –"good noon"
used only in the midday                        
                                                          
Dobré odpoledne –"good afternoon"   
used in the afternoon                        
                                                            
Dobrý večer –"good evening"             
used in the evening                               
                                                           
Dobrou noc –"good night"                   
used when wishing good night to          
somebody

Na shledanou –"see you"
used when leaving and you'll
or plan to meet the person again

Sbohem – "goodbye"
used when leaving supposing you
won't meet the person ever again 

Informal greetings

Ahoj –"hello"                            

Čau –"hey"                              

Čest –"honor" (Yes, very similar to
the English "chest".:)

Zdar or Nazdar –"well-being" or
"succes" (Actually, I don't know how
this developed. :)

Měj se/ Mějte se –"stay cool" (only
 when leaving). "Měj se", when leaving
one person, "Mějte se", when leaving
two or more persons.

You can use all of these, except for
"Měj se" when leaving and when
meeting someone.

Both

Zdravím –"I'm greeting"
+ You can use all of the formal
greetings when greeting
friends, but they'll probably
think that you're weird.


     One more thing – we separate greetings with commas like in English, e. g. Ahoj, Sarah. Dobrý večer, slečno. (=Good evening, miss.)

Taste Our Humour :)

This is not the video I had been making. After 6 hours of working on it, the application claimed that it was launched wrong and everything just disappeared. The saddest thing is that the app doesn't have the AutoSave function; but still it's far the best app I found.

      So, after I learned my lesson, this morning I made another video – shorter but still funny. Here it is:

(Prohlašuji, že toto video nebylo uveřejněno za účelem zisku a nevlastním na ně žádná práva. Volně stažitelné.)

     For those who are interested in making subtitles and adding them into a video:

     First download the video you want to add subs into. Then download Subtitle Workshop 4 (or elder version, which has the AutoSave function). All you need to know about this app is on Youtube here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vtss9P36goI. But you can learn it yourself as I did but remember – you can make mistakes.... as I also did. Now you can create the subs. When you're finished, save them in .srt format. Then just rename both video and subtitles to the same filename. And voila, you have a video with subs. 

      If you want to put the subs into the video permanently, then download MediaCoder (very useful thing :). It's a very complicated app, but I'll do my best to explain how to work with it. Open MediaCoder. At the top-right corner, there's "Output folder". Choose the original folder by clicking "...", find the video and open it. Drag it to the white space on the left. Then look at the black big icon, there is menu above. Choose "Video" (the third from the left). Find "Format" and choose "MPEG4". Then go back to menu and click "Audio". Look for " Format" again, then choose "LC-AAC". Again to the menu, click "Container", choose "MP4". Back to the menu, move it to the right and click "Subtitle". "Mode" – "ASS Render", then choose the "Subtitle file" below. Find your subtitles and open them. Then in the upper menu (the one with ten icons) click "Start". And here you go, you've created a subtitled video. 

      If there's something unclear, feel free to leave a comment and I'll try to answer you. :)

      This would not be possible without my elder brother. I hereby want to thank him. He showed me this way to make this vid. Unfortunately, after I had downloaded millions of other apps and viruses. Heh. 

      Later I'll make a video with Czech subtitles for you to practise your listening and reading skills. :)

HAVE FUN! BAVTE SE! 

P. S.: Bavte se [buhfte seh]  (= have fun) is really red with "f" instead of "v" because it's difficult to pronounce "vt". More in the Lesson 5 – Assimilation

P. P. S.: Another video available here: http://ciray.blogspot.cz/2013/10/another-video-with-richard-nedved.html 

The Sound of the Czech Language

   As I mentioned before, foreigners hear merely consonants when somebody speaks Czech. (Sounds funny to me.:D) But not everybody speaks that way. For example, I try to speak slowly because I tend to mix words together and mumble. It all depends on the person's usus (Czech "úzus") (= a specific speaking habit of a person). Nevertheless I checked out some web pages and made a little research in a facebook group (https://www.facebook.com/groups/languagescom/), which you can join, and foud out that Czech sounds like Russian with an Italian or Spanish accent. Some say that it's like Russian, or that all Slavic languages sound the same (*facepalm*).

      So, Czech has the stress on the first syllable of a word. Surprisingly, without exception. :) Our neighbours, Slovaks, say our language is monotonous and "harsh" and that they can speak our language, but we can't speak theirs. (If I were on facebook, I'd put here the F*ck Logic pic. :) On the other hand, Polish people find our language melodic, cheerful and full of optimism, despite the fact that we are well-known for our coldness and pessimism. I like both Slovak and Polish. They sound familiar. 

While I was watching the reactions on facebook, I decided to write an article about Czech humour because it's something that needs to be mentioned. 

      Feel free to tell me your opinion on Czech language. You can leave a comment below. :)

P. S.: There is nothing better than listening, listening, listening...  here you can listen to this (as a podcast): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdBV0HEzpbg. I'll try to add subtitles to some videos, so that you could know what they're saying. :)

Lesson 1 – Alphabet, reading

      I know, nobody likes grammar. But in the Czech language the letters in words are read the same way they are written (unlike English, French, ...), so knowing the alphabet is pretty useful.
      There is a regular alphabet, same as in English (with one extra letter "ch"). Then there are letters with a small comma upon them (vocals only) and letters with a hook upon them (some consonants and the vocal "e"). Because Czech is a languages with millions of exceptions, there is one special letter "ů" with a ring.

A a – as in "but"
Á á – as in "can't" (British English) or "dart"
B b – as in "bath"
C c – as in "tsunami"
Č č – as in "cheek"
D d – as in "dust"
Ď ď – as "dy" or "dya"
E e – as in "bet"
É é – as in "bear"
Ě ě – as in "yet"
F f – as in "fear"
G g – as in "gram"
H h – as in "hug"
Ch ch (note the form of the capital letter – C + h) – as the Scottish Loch
I i – as in "pig"
Í í – as in "beak"
J j – as in "yard"
K k – as in "card"
L l – as in "lump"
M m – as in "mug"
N n – as in "nun"
Ň ň – as in "canyon"
O o – as in "sort"
Ó ó – as in "board"
P p – as in "plain"
Q q – as in "squirel"
R r – like Spanish "r"
Ř ř – like Polish "rz" (play it here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Cs-%C5%99eka.ogg)
S s – as in "sand"
Š š – as in "shop"
T t – as in "trust"
Ť ť – as "ty" or "tya"
U u – as in "put"
Ú ú – as in "soup"
Ů ů – as in "soup"
V v – as in "vague"
W w – as in "vague" (used in foreign words only)
X x – as in "fix" (used in foreign words only)
Y y – as in "fill"
Ý ý – as in "feel"
Z z – as in "zip"
Ž ž – as in "measure"
       You might have noticed that the vocals with comma are just prolonged forms of regular vocals. Yes, they are. But remember that the length is not so distinct. We don't hold the vocal for 2 seconds.
      "Ů" is read the same way like "ú". "I" and "y" are read the same too.
       Letters "d", "t" and "n" followed by "i" are read as "ď", "ť" and "ň". "D", "t" and "n" followed by "ě" are also read as "ď", "ť" and "ň".
       "Mě" (and "mně") is read as "mňe". (That's why so many Czechs don't manage to write a sentence correctly.:)

      You can read words merely by connecting the letters. Here are some examples:
čest f. [chest] = honor
jídlo n. [yiedlo] = food, supper
most m. [moast] = bridge
tělo n. [tyelo] = body
konzerva f. [conzervah] = tin
ahoj [uhhoy] = hello – remember this one :)

Now you know, how to read Baťa [batya], girls! :) (The shoes, if you don' know.)

Chapter 1– Silent Hate

       How many needles are in each brachyblast of Pinus nigra? Euh… three I guess… Or two? Many trees have only two. He wouldn’t ask this question if the answer was two. But still... ‘Damn it, I’m screwed,’ I said quietly, however a classmate of mine heard me. ‘You should’ve studied harder,’ was her response to my statement– not a question, it was a clear statement. Nevertheless, she was known for her answering rhetorical questions and asking for information already said. She, somehow, was out of this world. She was warm-hearted or, at least, acting like that but way too superficial and high-and-mighty. Just my opinion. And everybody else’s.

          Back to the Biology test. It might seem like a test from Latin, especially the second part of the sentence but this is just what my studies in a high school were like. After I had finished the test, I and the rest of my class went right to the Mathematics classroom. Walking down the corridors of our school was like playing rugby. Nobody had kept the decree of keeping on the right side. Everybody was bumping each other and didn’t mind it. I did.

The day was like any other work day. I felt like shit and wanted to do nothing. Fortunately, I used to sit in the back of our Maths classroom where the professor appeared merely occasionally. He didn’t realize but he was lucky to have me that far away from him. To me, Maths was a torture. As long as it was arithmetic, I was okay. I could tell you the results off the top of my head. But when the letters had popped up I started to panic. And my relationship with geometry, planimetry and other stuff I was too forgetful to bring the instruments needed for doing it? One word– association. When you construct a square, what can you do with it to make it not to look so boring? It’s a good way to increase your creativity.

This lesson was different. The professor, Mr. Křížek, wasn’t in good spirits. He was cynical and kept telling us to shut up. Truth to be told, the morality in any lesson was horrible but professors just got used to it. They grew up in the same country (only named differently). It was normal here. Some professors wanted Czech schools to be like those in movies, the ones they had dreamt of– crowd of children in uniforms being manipulated and treated like lawless. Mr. Křížek was somehow weird. He was one of the professors I simply hated. Not because he had taught things I never seemed to understand, there was something in his nature that I didn’t like. I felt it every time I saw him. Of course, I was against the behaviour of some children but telling them, excuse me, telling US that we were a herd of inexperienced idiots was a rude overreaction. And I couldn’t stand it. I had sworn being nice to everyone, well it was my New Year’s resolution actually. But he was an exception I had to confront.